Wow . . . where does the time go? As soon as I get used to a place and begin to enjoy it, it's time to move on and start over! I was very reluctant to begin work in Sacramento because it wasn't "the Bay" and my friends were still in the Bay and I'm here. As it turns out, we've been able to get together a few times and have had a wonderful time (because we all miss each other, so we really make the best of it) each time we get together. So, getting together with them has made this assignment much better than I feared it might be. The people I work with have all been so much fun and so helpful.
Sacramento has been very hard in a different way, though. As you may have read in my previous posts, there is a very high population of homeless here and this hospital sees many. It has been a very difficult reality check and has reminded me of how broken the world is. I have wanted to scream because of the injustice (and not by the hospital, by any means, but, general, inherent injustices in the world). And, I have also felt and seen how little, in the big scheme of things, my effort and good intentions and benevolence really make a difference. I know what you may be thinking. We are always called to good works and they are the fruit of a changed heart in Christ. What I mean is we are absolutely hopeless for the world to really change, to really be made right, to really be healed forever and indefinitely, infinitely, and wholly without Christ. We are powerless in our best human form. I have had experiences where I have tried to comfort and console a confused or patient with psychological issues and my greatest of well-intentioned efforts failed. It didn't matter how much I loved, or cared, or tried . . . I, in my best nature, could not console or even communicate with some of them. The monsters in their heads kept them from receiving any kind of comfort, help, or consolation. The same goes for treating cancer much of the time. We use all of our human powers to make new medicines, develop new treatment regiments, to zap, cut, burn, oblate every cancer cell we can. And would you know, our best-intended treatments may be the end of cancer-eaten patient. We may pound on a chest, inject meds to jumpstart the heart, shock a person, and we are often powerless.
The lesson re-learned, reiterated here in Sacramento for me has been that the world is not what it should be and what we all know it should be. And I saw that my best of intentions and best of works and best of efforts, although necessary now and still beneficial, they are not the ultimate answer "saving the world." I would say that I have known this intellectually for years, but actually realizing it and seeing it, knowing I tried as hard as I could, did everything I could, and still fell short of comforting, consoling, helping, was a good lesson. It is a hard but essential lesson. I will say, here, I have never been more ready to see Jesus come back, reconcile the world and right all the wrong.
Sorry, folks! This is not where I intended this blog entry to go! It just happened as I reflected over Sacramento and my time here. I'm not sure where I will be going next. I have a few possibilities and will hopefully know within this week. I would love to go to the bay again and I would really love a 3 month assignment instead of a 1.5 month one!!! Saying goodbye is killing me!
If you have any suggestions or questions for blog entries, let me know. I'm afraid this is "all about me" . . . I want it to be a way to keep in touch, not my address to my captive audience! So, tell me if you have suggestions! : )
A couple of my friends and I went to San Fran for a cheesy Christmas Day in the City and did cheesy Christmas things. It was a ton of fun and here are some pics!
Sacramento has been very hard in a different way, though. As you may have read in my previous posts, there is a very high population of homeless here and this hospital sees many. It has been a very difficult reality check and has reminded me of how broken the world is. I have wanted to scream because of the injustice (and not by the hospital, by any means, but, general, inherent injustices in the world). And, I have also felt and seen how little, in the big scheme of things, my effort and good intentions and benevolence really make a difference. I know what you may be thinking. We are always called to good works and they are the fruit of a changed heart in Christ. What I mean is we are absolutely hopeless for the world to really change, to really be made right, to really be healed forever and indefinitely, infinitely, and wholly without Christ. We are powerless in our best human form. I have had experiences where I have tried to comfort and console a confused or patient with psychological issues and my greatest of well-intentioned efforts failed. It didn't matter how much I loved, or cared, or tried . . . I, in my best nature, could not console or even communicate with some of them. The monsters in their heads kept them from receiving any kind of comfort, help, or consolation. The same goes for treating cancer much of the time. We use all of our human powers to make new medicines, develop new treatment regiments, to zap, cut, burn, oblate every cancer cell we can. And would you know, our best-intended treatments may be the end of cancer-eaten patient. We may pound on a chest, inject meds to jumpstart the heart, shock a person, and we are often powerless.
The lesson re-learned, reiterated here in Sacramento for me has been that the world is not what it should be and what we all know it should be. And I saw that my best of intentions and best of works and best of efforts, although necessary now and still beneficial, they are not the ultimate answer "saving the world." I would say that I have known this intellectually for years, but actually realizing it and seeing it, knowing I tried as hard as I could, did everything I could, and still fell short of comforting, consoling, helping, was a good lesson. It is a hard but essential lesson. I will say, here, I have never been more ready to see Jesus come back, reconcile the world and right all the wrong.
Sorry, folks! This is not where I intended this blog entry to go! It just happened as I reflected over Sacramento and my time here. I'm not sure where I will be going next. I have a few possibilities and will hopefully know within this week. I would love to go to the bay again and I would really love a 3 month assignment instead of a 1.5 month one!!! Saying goodbye is killing me!
If you have any suggestions or questions for blog entries, let me know. I'm afraid this is "all about me" . . . I want it to be a way to keep in touch, not my address to my captive audience! So, tell me if you have suggestions! : )
A couple of my friends and I went to San Fran for a cheesy Christmas Day in the City and did cheesy Christmas things. It was a ton of fun and here are some pics!
Union Square
So, I'm a sucker for the over-commercialism.
The ice-skating rink! We even had cold weather
to make it feel authentically wintry! (and nobody
fell! Big deal!)
Last, but not least, a lovely dinner atop Macy's
at the Cheesecake Factory! Great end
to a great day!
Peace on Earth!
I loved this post! You are very wise and its interesting to see your perspective- true but hard to accept. Miss you~
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