Thankful

The reality of the world seems to hit more at times than others.  There are times it seems we see things a little more clearly and we aren't as oblivious to the state of the world or situations others are in.

Working in bigger cities has opened my eyes as you would expect.  I have been very overwhelmed by the number of homeless here in the 2 cities I've worked in so far.  In Sacramento, I work in a hospital close to downtown, so it's expected that we see more of the homeless population.  The complications of H1N1 and colder weather seem to be driving more into the hospitals.  Not to mention, the struggling economy causing facilities to be closed and funding to be cut for programs. Which programs are cut?  Those that care for the mentally ill and keep them off the streets.  Further aggravating the problem of funding is of course these people are unable to pay and have no insurance, meaning the hospital "eats" the costs (which I have no personal issues with, since we are here to care for those who need care, however, many hospitals are in the red and having to make cut backs, which causes snowballing issues for everybody. I'm interested to see how reform will affect our current struggles).

I have cared for many homeless people here.  Many of whom have psychological illnesses and some who have just had "bad luck."  I have discharged several to "home," which happens to be the streets.  It is so conflicting to discharge them to nowhere, with no next meal guaranteed.  I discharged one before dinner and, after the fact, realized I should have waited an hour so he could eat one more full meal.  I then went back to my hotel (which I often complain about) and slept in a warm, dry bed, while he slept on the cold, wet streets.  One young woman who had been through enough to cripple anyone started crying when we were unable to find her backpack that contained everything she had in the world in the rush of trying to get her moved so we could admit someone new as our ER was being overran.  Another man told me, "I'll be alright. I've got my pack there and my sleeping bag . . . "

So, I am humbled in the presence of these people.  Why them and not myself?  I am no more worthy of a home, a warm bed, a healthy mind, or the warm meals I never fail to have.  I was just the one that wasn't born into their particular situation at that particular time.  I am so frivolous so often with what I am given.  May I never forget it is by no merit or worth of my own. And may I remain humble and always thankful.

God have mercy on the homeless.