Five Facts of Packing

1.   Space Bags are an amazing technological feat and have forever changed my life!  It took me a bit to recover from my astonishment, amazement, excitement and joy after placing the magic plastic around various items and sucking the air out of them with the vacuum and watching them shrink to 1/4 of their original size!  Somebody needs to invent something that will shrink my tv, pots, pans, etc to 1/4 of their original size too . . .

4 large pillows, 1 full quilt, 1 full blanket, 2 sets of sheets,

4 full-sized towels, 3 hand towels, 3 washcloths, 10 shirts, 4 pairs of workout shorts, 

a fleece and 1 pair of hiking pants compared to a Quilted Northern Double Roll 
(it was the closest thing I had, ok?!)!

2.  You can pack your entire kitchen into two 47 L sterilite containers.

3.  Apparently, glass breaks when it hits a tile floor or if you pack things too tightly in your 47 L sterilite kitchen boxes.

4.  I have broken 3 dishes.

5.  You do not need 5 backpacks and 3 messenger bags.  No matter what you think, no matter how many different activities you think you do which "require a different backpack or bag," you will never use them all frequently enough to justify keeping them.



Ok, my packing break is over!  I move out of my house on the 30th and will head to Sunray that evening for a few days before heading out west.  I'm not sure what I think of the impending drive.  Maybe the Grand Canyon will make it worthwhile. : )

You guys are making me so happy when I see who's reading!  Thank you for your interest and I hope you are all doing well! Keep in touch!

The San Francisco Story!

Powell Street, San Francisco

I just realized it's been a while since I posted last!  Sorry.

I went to San Francisco Sunday through Wednesday to get my fingerprinting taken care of for my California nursing license.  I had to go in person because they have a computerized fingerprinting system I have to use for time's sake in order to be able to start at Stanford the 12th.  It was quite the adventure.  I got to the hotel and learned I lost my driver's license somewhere between security in Lubbock and my hotel . . . . . . . . . . BIG problem!  Very fortunately, one of my friends in LBK was able to get into my house, find my passport and overnight it to me in San Fran.  I still had to stay an extra day (how terrible . . . : ).

At Hyde St. Pier

I'm in love with San Francisco!  I especially love the WEATHER!  I had to stay in the first day because it was raining (and because I had to workout the photo ID issue as well) but the rest of the stay it was beautiful.  It was probably anywhere from 60 to 70 degrees, sunny and slightly breezy.  The Bay was my favorite place to hang out but I also LOVED Chinatown (which is VERY much like city life in China--I felt like I was truly there!) and had some amazing, authentic Chinese food there.  I rode one cable car once on the way back up to my subway station (by this point, my feet were killing me from walking miles up and down hills and along the bay) and it was worth the $5.  Speaking of money, I could definitely tell I wasn't in LBK.  My cheapest meal was in Chinatown ($5) and the rest were an average of $11 + tip.  I did have some amazing pizza and salad on Kearny St (again, worth the $11 for 2 slices).

There are many, many homeless in downtown SF.  I've been in cities, but have never encountered so many in one place.  I encountered a few I could see had addictions or complications from using/drinking (the obvious tell-tale signs we are taught to recognize).  It's very conflicting internally.  I felt sympathetic and compassionate for them at the first of the day, but by the end of my stay there found myself very irritated with being approached very often by them, which subsequently led to feelings of guilt for being irritated and for not being homeless myself.  I could feel myself falling into the cycle of frustration, disregard, and conflict the homeless and those who walk by them every day I presume fall into:  homeless person on the street asks for money, passerby donates a couple bucks --> 20 ft later, homeless person on the street asks for money, passerby doesn't donate money --> current homeless person verbally insults passerby who just donated money 20 ft up the road -->  passerby becomes offended and frustrated with homeless --> animosity and frustration results--> homeless person asks for money --> passerby remembers previous homeless's insults and does not donate money --> animosity and frustration results.  (Please know I do not condone the response of animosity or frustration.  I am simply conveying the reality of what I perceived while I was there.)


I was reminded social injustices are rampant and it's good and important to see them with my own eyes.  Hopefully facing them will be an encouragement to love and serve those who face injustices and need help with addiction, hopelessness, helplessness and disabilities, and, hopefully, I will not allow the offense of those frustrated by their helpless dependence upon passersby for their bread and water to keep me from serving them.  I also was conflicted about what really meets their needs:  Does a couple bucks while only having to face them for 10 seconds really help them?  Or programs for recovery?  Definitely the fact that life in Jesus can free them from whatever binds and figuratively "cripples" them now is the best we can offer.  But, what services can we provide that really meet their physical needs now, so they might see love in action, consistently?

I didn't come up with any solutions of what will provide permanent relief for them, physically, now.  Shelters can only care for them for a limited amount of time due to a lack of availability, recovery programs have limited funding, churches and soup kitchens also have limited funding.  Our worldly attempts absolutely fail to permanently alleviate the suffering of all homeless left on the streets.  There is One Hope that does not fail:  that we may have freedom from all of these injustices in Christ.  That is all we have to offer with any long-term hope:  One day, this suffering will end.


Rev 21:3  And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.
Rev 21:4  He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away."
Rev 21:5  And he who was seated on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new." Also he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true."
Rev 21:6  And he said to me, "It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment. . . "

So, San Francisco was good!  Even though I lost my driver's license! And even though I had to spent a couple hundred bucks more to stay another day and fedex my passport.  I think I will like California and especially like San Fran!

I have not been to Stanford yet.  I didn't venture south of the city while I was there.  Mom and I will start driving to California probably during the first week of October and take about 3 days to get out there.  I am still packing and tying up loose ends for my licensing and job before I leave.  I will be out of my house on the 30th and my nomadic lifestyle will commence!

Proof I was there (Alcatraz in the background)

Hundreds of sea lions resting at Pier 39 and the

Golden Gate Bridge in the background.

Giving it up

I can never decide if I should post stories from the floor (of course all the while maintaining confidentiality!).  They are so heavy, so real, and so heartbreaking sometimes.  Often after the question, "So where do you work?" and I respond with "oncology," and they respond with, "I bet that's hard," and I say, "yes, but it's good too," they don't really know what else to say.  And a frantic search for a new, comfortable and hopefully more pleasant topic often ensues (on both parts).

However, I feel it would be a disservice to not honor these who fight so hard or who "give it up" so readily and peacefully.  Or, is this really honoring them?  I don't know.  But, they have amazing stories of courage, faith, struggles with truths, their pasts, and wrestling with what's next.  So, forgive me for forcing them upon you, but hopefully you will be able to see these fighters as well and maybe catch a blessing or lesson from their fights as well.

There are days this patient or that patient comes to mind and I'm reminded of their circumstances and their fight. Tonight, one particular woman comes to mind.  She was in her early 70s, I think, and we had seen her intermittently for about a year.  She was a sweet woman, but, I often got the idea she didn't particularly care for me very much (maybe because the first time she had me, I had to wake her up every two hours).  Anyhow, I admitted her this time. Of course she was ill, but she seemed ok (now, there's ill, and there's "this is it" ill).  I always worked really hard to make her smile, because she seemed so downtrodden and fatigued from her fight.  I usually didn't get much of a response from my efforts.  But, even though I expected to see her go home, this time, she was different:  I didn't have to try very hard to get a smile out of her.  I admitted her and  had her for a couple of nights before I went for a weekend off.

When I came back, she was not doing well at all.  She had severe nausea and vomiting. Of course everybody knows this can be common after chemo, but this was much worse than the usual "severe nausea and vomiting."  This night was one of her worst nights.  I had pushed every med possible to control it, made several calls to the doctor and nothing was helping.  She got sick and she got sick and she got sick some more.  I was standing by her bed, placing a washcloth on her forehead and fanning her as she continued to get sick, when she just broke down and began to sob.  Now, mind you, we have some patients are aren't as strong as others and don't fight as long or hard as others.  But this woman was tough as nails.  She was a down-home, West Texas country woman who had physically worked hard her entire life and never complained, though she had plenty of reason to.  And this was the moment she said, "enough."  I saw the moment she "gave it up" and we both knew that was it.

She passed away a couple of days later.

I don't know why I want to tell a bit of her story or honor her.  I'm not sure she would consider my discussing her sobs and moment of surrender an "honor."  But, maybe, she would appreciate her story being told so others may know this life is fleeting. Maybe she would appreciate knowing somebody was deeply affected by her courage and strength both to fight as long as she did and to let go.  Maybe she would encourage people to reconcile differences, to ask for forgiveness and give it to those who need forgiving, to remember to breathe and enjoy their youth and health, to take time to "smell the roses" and enjoy God's creation or to enjoy relationship with one another and do your best to work at it.  I don't know.  Take what you will from her story.  May you be blessed by it and by her, somehow.

"Where is Stanford?"

I went to Tulsa this past week to take the ONS (Oncology Nursing Society) chemotherapy and biotherapy course at Cancer Treatment Centers of America.  First, let me just say, the Cancer Treatment Center facility was BEAUTIFUL!  They have waterfalls and lavish gardens around their facility and palm trees in the corridor (I wonder if they're fake since you shouldn't be around live plants when you're immunocompromised because they can have bacteria or other pathogens that can cause infection on them, but I didn't think to further investigate it. Darn).  Anyway, beautiful facility and one of the nurses there told me patients helped design their inpatient hospital rooms!  They do not, however, have a stem cell unit at this facility (where they perform stem cell transplants for those with leukemias, myelomas, etc), which I found surprising (ha! Covenant wins that one!).  They also do not treat children there.

Anyhow, I completed the course on Thursday.  I had been in contact with my recruiter from my traveling agency throughout the week discussing positions and licensing issues.  On Thursday, as I drove back to Texas, I received a call from the assistant manager at Stanford:

"Hello?"

"Is Sabra available?"

"This is she."

"Hi, this is (I can't remember his name!), assistant manager at Stanford.  I just wanted to contact you and double-check about some information I see on your profile."  (I've really got to work on being better about listening to names . . . especially when looking for jobs . . . )

"Okay."

"So you've been giving chemo for two years?"

"Yes."

"Are you ONS Chemo certified?"

"Yes, I just completed it today!"

"And are you familiar with central lines?"

"Very."

"Okay! Do you have any questions for me?"

"Umm, when will I know if you are going to offer me the position?"

"Well, I would think you should hear something from AMM tomorrow."

"Okay, great! Thanks!"

*ring ring*

"Hello?"

"Hi Sabra, this is K___, from AMM!"

"Hi, K___!"

"So, I just submitted your profile to Stanford but I can pull it if you want me to."

"Yeah, the assistant manager just called me, so don't pull it!"

"Oh, really?! So you already interviewed?"

"Umm, I guess so!"

"Oh, ok, great!  Well, I'll let you know if I hear anything from them."

"Okay, thanks K___!"

--20 miles down the road--

*ring ring*

"Hello?"

"Hi Sabra, this is K___ from AMM!"

"Hi, K___!"

"So Stanford offered you the job! Congratulations!"

"Oh, great! That's awesome!"

"Yeah, that's an awesome hospital and will be wonderful to have on your resume! That's really awesome!"

-------------------

I seriously almost cried when I received the news!  (It's stressful not having a job!)  So, I start October 5 at Stanford University Hospital on the oncology floor during nights to cover as they implement a new electronic charting software!  It is only for a month, but K___ thinks they might extend my contract.  I'm not sure they will if they only need me for a software switch, but I really don't care! I'm going to California, south of San Francisco, to work at one of the best hospitals in the nation!  This will be a good resume builder and open the door for many more opportunities anywhere.  Not to mention all that I will learn and see at Stanford.  I'm very excited!

I have to say, this is certainly God's work and faithfulness.  I have been praying for a job, felt like I was being led to the San Francisco area and was very disappointed when the other San Fran opps didn't work out because I felt it was where I was supposed to go.  Other opps in the meantime didn't work out either.  This has been a time of hard prayer and trying to do my best to remember His goodness and faithfulness while I have been extremely anxious.  Also, if you do not know the history of what has led to this decision, many doors were closed for me here in LBK and I felt I would be disobedient and maybe nuts to stay.  So, here we go!  Let's see what He's doing!

Thank you all for your support and encouragement!  I'm still around Lubbock for a little less than a month, so I might still see some of you and maybe not.  Love you all!


I've been getting a lot of  "So, where is Stanford?" questions.  Here it is:

Stanford's Cancer Center

Map of where Stanford is

These Women . . .

Here in LBK, I've been blessed to work with some amazing women.  I have watched them love their patients, love one another, and love their families wholeheartedly.  These women have given so much of themselves to their work, which happens to be facing those who are facing death day in and day out.  Even if their patients "survive" whatever cancer they have been diagnosed with, these patients face the reality of their mortality, and these women walk through this difficult time with these patients and their families.  These nurses, aids and secretaries are with these patients as they learn the news of their diagnoses, comfort the patients as they cope, answer every question imaginable about the patients' diagnoses and possible impending ends of their lives, and, they are an incredible support to the families of those who are coping with cancer and/or death of their loved one.  These women face often incomprehensible suffering nearly on a daily basis.  It is hard to go back to work after losing one they've cared for for months and became dear friends with, but these women do come back, often with broken hearts, to love the rest and possibly do the same hard thing all over again. These women are blessings to those they care for and their families.  We have an award at Covenant called the "sacred heroes" award;  all of these women are truly are heroes.


Thank you, ladies, for the going away dinners!  You made my last week fun and special!  I love you and will miss you all!  Thank you for loving your patients as you do.  You are an inspiration.  Thank you for teaching me how to be a nurse as well!  : )

Gail, Lyna, Me, "Lil' Deb"

Sonia

Sam : ) (who helps our patients, and me, breathe better!)

Sharronda, Sarah, Beth, Jeanette, Rebecca (Jeanette's daughter), Bev, 

Mayra, Me, Mona, Betty B.

Those I don't have pictures of but have to give honorable mention to ( ! ):  RACHEL--this poor nurse was my mentor during my second degree program for a full year! (Bless her heart!  I'll miss you, Rachel!); OLGA--she always makes me laugh and laughs with me.  I'll miss you Olga! CHRISTINA--I'll miss her "needing supplies," her sarcastic banter, and cheerful face. : )

Thanks for the goodtimes, ladies!  You all rock and I'll miss you!

Gal 6.9:  And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.